


I'm Not Ready

by MeltedIceAngel



Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Crying, Emotionally constipated Jeremie, Explicit Language, Fights, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Outing, Yumi loves Odd like a brother, almost, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeltedIceAngel/pseuds/MeltedIceAngel
Summary: On a normal day, Odd was fast enough to outrun them. Today, his luck had run out.“Hey, Odd, we hear you turned down an offer to fuck Nadine Walker.”Odd threw his hood up and kept walking.--Odd gets outed at the most convenient time; the exact moment every single student left their classes to head down to the cafeteria for lunch, and the one time the entire day that Yumi, Ulrich, and Jeremie were not by his side. Odd had always been the subject of pretty heavy gossip, but this...this was a whole new level. It felt like living in a purgatory where his old life was gone and he was trapped in one he wasn't ready to step into.Maybe if Ulrich hadn't been raised in such a conservative family, Odd wouldn't have felt like dying the moment he stepped into their room and Ulrich stared him down like a stranger.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Jim

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie, this is a "coming to terms with my own outing" story rather than coming up with something on the fly. Part of what's nice about Code Lyoko is nobody really reads these stories, so I'm not as nervous about posting this. I already have up to chapter 3 done, but I'm still working on Aelita and Ulrich's reactions and Ulrich's is taking me a long time to get right.

“Ew, we better go. I hear being a cut sleeve is catching.”

Odd ignored the harsh voice and subsequent outpour of laughs as he made his way to art class. The anger and embarrassment simmered low, and no amount of self-talk could keep his hands from hiding away in his pockets and his gaze from dropping to the floor. No matter how many times he heard it or how many variations of the same insults there were, it still left him bitter. 

To the still learning French speaker in him, it gave real-world meaning to the phrase, “I wish the ground would swallow me whole.”

Odd didn’t pull his hood down until he was sitting in his seat, and his professor was clicking her tongue at him. His hair, silky smooth without any product for the first time since he’d gotten ahold of hairspray in middle school, fell right into his eyes and obscured his vision. It was nice while it lasted. He couldn’t see anyone’s faces, and they couldn’t see his. 

When the bell rang, Odd sighed and pulled his hair up, ignoring all of the curious stares sent his way. 

He made it smoothly through art class despite his sour mood. There was something about smoothing oil pastels into beautiful blends while listening to flutes and violins play over the class speaker that flushed away all the dark feelings in his chest. 

He packed away his mixed media book and his pastels and booked it. The sooner he found Yumi, the sooner he could put another bad day behind him.

It seemed like Odd and whoever spat homophobic insults at him had one thing in common: they didn’t want Odd’s friends to overhear. Maybe it was the presence of two martial artists and the number one student in the institution bound to be a snitch. 

On a typical day, Odd was fast enough to outrun them. Today, his luck had run out. 

“Hey, Odd, we hear you turned down an offer to fuck Nadine Walker.” 

Odd threw his hood up and kept walking.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the biggest fuck boy in this school? You hooked up with every girl in your grade, but what? Two?”

Odd sped up. 

“Oh no, my bad! You just kiss and vanish, don’t you? Or you _cheat,_ isn’t that right?”

Odd turned a corner and barrelled right into a group of sixth years chatting. Usually, he would’ve stopped to apologize, but the sound of satisfied laughter had gotten too close. 

“Little Odd Della Robbia, the school fuck boy that’s scared of vaginas.” 

Odd bit his lip as those around began to snicker. Odd couldn’t understand what about what was just said that was so damn funny. 

“But get this, everyone!” A hand slapped against the wall in front of Odd’s face, and for once, he cursed his spike in height. Last year he would’ve been able to duck under no problem.

“A little birdie told me you sucked some guy off in the bathroom instead of going to class. Is that where you go when you ask to leave class? Is that your secret?”

Odd said nothing. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation, and besides, being honest would’ve done nothing more than putting him in deep shit with Jeremie. He’d dealt with this enough; he didn’t need to defend himself. Everyone already knew that Odd had never been sexually attracted to anyone that he’d dated. It didn’t take too long for it to spread that he never came back after the first kiss.

“Who knew that Della Robbia, the guy that can get any girl he wants, would prefer to take it up the ass.”

“Did I offend you in some way?” Odd bit, finally tired of the tirade. The other boy, one in the year above Odd that he couldn’t place a name to, laughed. 

He leaned forward, and as quietly as he could muster without being unintelligible, said, “Could my girlfriend breaking up with me to go out with you satisfy that criteria?” 

Odd shivered as the boy backed away with a murderous glare. The last time Odd had dated anyone was when he was sixteen, and while that was only a little over a year ago, he still had trouble remembering who exactly it was that he’d gone out with. It had gone _bad,_ and after a return to the past, he’d told the girl he wasn’t actually interested, and they’d never really gone out. 

He couldn’t imagine the girl breaking up with someone to go out with him. Maybe using him to break up with someone would make more sense. 

Already having lost face and the majority of his pride to the group of students watching, Odd said, “If your girlfriend broke up with you to go out with me, she must have just needed an excuse to get away from you because I haven’t been in a relationship longer than two weeks since I was twelve.” 

Odd flinched as the boy pulled back as if to punch him. Suddenly, the laughs turned to gasps, and there was a collective shout of, “Don’t!” Before another, much louder voice joined the crowd.

“Picking on kids younger than you? You’ve really lost your style, Weaver.” Jim stomped up to the now dispersing group. Odd slowly opened his eyes to see that even some of the boy’s friends had taken off. Jim looked livid. His glare was so hard set that if it were possible, anything within eyesight would have shattered. Odd couldn’t even remember Jim looking so mad over their group being seven hours late for curfew.

“I am revolted. How _dare_ you threaten another student. How _dare_ you spit such disgusting words at someone else. What? Did you think people were just going to stand around and listen to you shit on him without coming to find someone? Huh?” Jim paused. “Answer me when I ask you a question!”

“No, sir. I was just--”

“Harassing someone and threatening violence, I’m very aware. Principal’s office. I can’t even look at you long enough to properly deal with this. If I find out you didn’t go _immediately_ , you better pray it’s Delmas that finds you first.” 

Weaver began to walk down the path to the administrative building while Odd turned on his heels and just walked. He had no destination except _away._

“Della Robbia,” Jim caught up to him. Odd stopped but didn’t look up from the ground. “If you don’t want to talk about it with me, I understand. From what the students who reported what was happening said, it is severe enough that I do need you to talk to someone. I can’t make an exception.”

“It’s fine, Jim,” Odd said, looking up from the ground and plastering a smile on his face in a desperate plea for Jim to leave him alone. 

“There is nothing wrong with you, Della Robbia,” Jim said, and Odd’s lip wobbled traitorously. “No matter who you decide to be with, I will always support you. You may not be my best student, but you’re still my student, and I care. This is a whole new world. You don’t need to date anyone that you don’t _want_ to date.”

“Ulrich would hate me,” Odd had no idea why he said that. It was the only thought that he’d had ever since he realized the implications of someone having run to tell Jim. Everyone knew that Odd and his friends were close, and if they cared enough about him to tell Jim, who’s to say they wouldn’t run and tell his friends? 

Even if they didn’t hear it from someone who told Jim, Odd getting followed by someone spewing homophobic vitriol at him was likely enough to start some good gossip. If Odd didn’t have such a close relationship with Milly, it might have been in the school paper’s next issue. 

“Why do you think Stern--”

“His parents are very, _very_ conservative. They didn’t like me because they thought I dyed my hair, and that was unnatural. I can’t imagine how disgusted by me they’d be if they thought I was--” Odd choked, and he hated that he couldn’t just say it. He’d worked so hard on coming to terms with himself, and even if he never had come out to his friends or to the world, he had been happy with the inner work. He had been happy with himself.

“Odd, Ulrich is _not_ his parents. You know better than anyone who Ulrich is as a person,” Jim sounded distressed by Odd’s thought process. It was likely that Jim only cared for Odd because of how much he cared for Ulrich. His star soccer player with shit grades and horrible home life. 

“I know he’s not, but Ulrich was still raised by them,” Odd said. The truth of the matter was that Ulrich had always been weird about people talking about LGBT _anything._ Before remembering who she was, Aelita had asked about why gay marriage had to be legalized, and Ulrich had told her it didn’t matter because none of them were gay. 

Thinking about that still made Odd’s stomach churn. Aelita had looked so downcast, and it wasn’t until Ulrich left for practice that Yumi could explain it to her. Then came the question of why Ulrich reacted the way he did, and Odd had decided to call it a night and go back to his room. 

“Can I go?” Odd asked. Jim was right; Odd didn’t want to talk about this with him. He was far too biased toward Ulrich, and he didn’t want to hear about how he had the wrong idea the entire time. 

“Will you find another teacher to talk to?” Jim asked. 

“Yeah,” Odd said, and even if it was a lie, Jim waved him off. 

Odd got halfway to the hallway that led off to the grassy relaxation area before he stopped and turned, only to see that Jim was still staring at him.

“Last second thoughts?” Jim asked. 

“Don’t tell them. If they ask you what happened, just say it was no big deal, and it was taken care of. Please. I’m not ready to come out yet, and Ulrich will just end up getting into a fight with him,” Odd said, trying to appeal to the part of Jim that didn’t want to see Ulrich get in trouble. 

“I’ll say it was taken care of if they ask, but I’m not telling them it wasn’t a big deal because it is,” Jim said. Odd felt the urge to argue, but he turned on his heels and walked away instead.


	2. Yumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to tell me what happened?” Yumi whispered, and even if Odd didn’t want to, he felt like he had to. The worst thing that could happen was Yumi would kick him out, and even if that was enough to get him into yet another fit, it still would only be another bad thing to be caused by finding boys cute. 
> 
> “I’m gay,” Odd choked out. It felt like he was dying when Yumi went still and silent. He was just about to forcefully pull away when Yumi spoke. 

Odd was just about to step onto the path that would lead him to the sewer entrance when he was grabbed by the back of his collar and yanked backward. He spluttered and threw his bag to the ground, pulling his hands up in a fighting stance. At least if Xana decided to attack now, he was already on his way to the factory.

To his utter dismay, Odd came face to face with Weaver’s friends that had booked it when they saw Jim. They laughed at his attempt at defending himself, and one of them stepped forward and shoved him to the ground. Odd let out a startled _oof_ as he hit the ground. It took everything in him to remind himself that they were not possessed by Xana, and it wouldn’t be a good idea to show how battle-ready scrawny gymnast Odd really was. 

“If Rich gets expelled, it’s _your_ head. He’s already on his last straws with Hertz,” The stupidly tall, _very_ heavy set one said. 

“Wow, something we have in common,” Odd said. The one with a face full of acne snarled and moved as if to physically retaliate, but the tall one stopped him before he could.

“Damn, Cal, what did I say about hitting him? That Ishiyama girl would _kill_ us,” He said, and the acne-prone one, Cal, grumbled. 

“Not if it would get her expelled,” Cal said, looking as if he was seriously considering going for it anyway. “Aren’t they always getting in trouble for vanishing anyway? You must be on your last straw with more than just Hertz.”

“No, Mrs. Hertz just _really_ doesn’t like me,” Odd said, lifting himself back to his feet. Neither of them went to shove him back down, so he brushed his pants off and looked down at his newish shoes with a frown. He had really been trying to keep them clean. 

“That makes two of us,” Call grumbled.

“Three,” The tall one said. 

“What could I have done to you that would make you corner me in a running trail? You look like you’ve never stepped foot in one in your life,” Odd knew he should have never stooped that low, but he was getting tired of people picking on him for things he couldn’t control. He thought maybe doing it back would make him feel better, but it did nothing but make him feel worse. 

“Other than getting Rich in trouble? You stole his girl. That’s kinda shitty, don’t you think?” Cal said, putting a hand up to keep his fuming friend from beating Odd into the dirt. 

“I don’t know who he is, and the last time I dated someone was a year and a half ago,” Odd said. He was starting to wish he was fighting Xana instead. 

“Sounds about right, doesn’t it, Aiden?” Cal said, and the tall one, Aiden, nodded his head. 

“Short girl, red hair, freckles?” Aiden said, and it only vaguely jogged Odd’s memory. 

“I mean, yeah? I told her I’d go out with her, but then I canceled because something came up,” Odd lied. “I never tried to reschedule.”

“You stood up Ava Johnson?” Cal looked furious, and Odd wondered if it was his fate in life to never win no matter what he did. First his sisters, then school, then Xana, now _this._

“I didn’t stand her up; I canceled,” Odd said, looking around for a way out of this conversation before one of them could move to hit him again. 

“Let’s go. I think someone’s coming,” Aiden slapped Cal hard in the stomach, and both of them glared at Odd once more before bolting. Odd waited to see who was scuffing their feet on the dirt path, only to sigh in relief when the caretaker of the grounds came into view. 

“Shouldn’t you be at lunch?” The old man asked, and Odd nodded and took off in the same direction Aiden and Cal had. It was strange that no one had messaged him to ask where he was. He pulled his phone out to check if he’d missed anything, only to discover that his phone was dead. 

“Great,” Odd grumbled. He pushed the door open to the cafeteria, and it instantly became silent. Every single eye in the room was directed at Odd, including the eyes at the staff table in the far corner. Despite it being against the rules, Odd pulled his hood up and made his way over to Rosa, only to realize that he wasn’t feeling hungry for the first time in a while. 

“What’ll you have, hun?” Rosa never addressed Odd with any sort of endearment, which made him somehow less hungry than before. 

“I--You know, I don’t think I’m that hungry today. Thank you, ma’am,” Odd said, turning and taking a few steps.

“Odd, I have mashed potatoes?” Rosa tried to appeal to him. He just shook his head, and before he could make it to the table where his friends were staring at him, he decided that the eyes on him were too much, and he changed his destination to the door. 

“Odd!” Yumi called out to him. He didn’t stop. He felt so humiliated, and now the entire school thought they knew something about him that he wanted _no one_ to know. He made it to the covered walkway toward the dorms before Yumi caught up to him. “You don’t have to talk about it, but please don’t run from me. There seems to be a general consensus to not tell us anything, so I have no idea what’s going on, but I know it’s bad.”

“It’s fine, Yumi. I just don’t feel so good. My stomach is bothering me,” Odd said. Yumi put her hand to his forehead, and when she determined he didn’t have a fever, she continued blocking his path. 

“Do you want to come home with me? We can eat, watch YouTube videos, and if you _want_ to talk, you can, and if you don’t, you don’t have to,” Yumi said. Odd seriously considered it. It was Saturday, which meant they had no more classes left to attend that day. Not having to talk to Aelita, Jeremie, or Ulrich was also a nice plus, and when Yumi said she wouldn’t be pushy, she never was. 

“Okay,” Odd said. Yumi smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. They were finally almost the same height, but Odd was still treating a few inches under her. He tried to be upset about it, but having Yumi glaring over his head at all the people staring made him feel better. 

They walked in the front door of Yumi’s home, and for the first time, Odd didn’t forget to take off his shoes in the entryway. Yumi gave him both a pleased and sad smile. Odd was trying so hard not to think about anything that he ended up thinking about everything. 

“Mom, we’re here!” Yumi called, and Yumi’s mother, Akiko, walked into the room with a very poorly placed smile.

“Hello, Odd. It’s nice to see you,” Akiko said, and Odd found himself bowing without thinking. He felt immediately embarrassed, but the woman’s smile took on a more fond edge. 

“Thank you for having me,” Odd was embarrassed by the way his voice wobbled and cracked. He hadn’t realized how poorly he was holding it together. Akiko walked forward and pulled Odd into her arms, and before Odd could process enough to stop them, the tears fell thick and silent. Without anything else to do, he wrapped his arms around Akiko and, without meaning to, pretended that it was his own mother that was comforting him.

“You’re a good boy, Odd. If your mom is ever too far away and you want a mother’s advice, come to me. My door is always open,” Akiko said, and Odd shook and sobbed silently into her shoulder. 

“It must be worse than we thought,” Yumi sounded a rock skip away from livid. 

“It was clearly something that the school needs to address immediately,” Yumi’s dad thundered as he came into the room. “What sort of institution allows things that could distress a student to this degree happen? For how much I pay, you’d think they’d at least have a system against bullying.”

“It’s fine. It was just someone taking out their own issues on me,” Odd said, wiping his eyes. Akiko and Yumi’s dad looked sad and angry respectfully at this admission.

“Can I talk to him?” Yumi asked before her dad could turn even redder. Both of them nodded, albeit reluctantly, and Yumi dragged Odd off to her room. 

Odd settled himself down on Yumi’s bed, and before she had the chance to open her mouth, Odd was pulling his hands to his face and crying into them. Yumi settled down beside him and put a cautious hand on his shoulder, and without a moment of thought, Odd threw himself at Yumi. She barely had time to open her arms before Odd was on top of her, but she grabbed onto him as tightly as she could and held him through it.

“They’re so _mean._ I didn’t, I didn’t mean to—“ Odd shook violently. Yumi shushed him as she rubbed his back. They rocked side to side, and Odd could still feel as Yumi tensed to suppress whatever she felt. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Yumi whispered, and even if Odd didn’t want to, he felt like he had to. The worst thing that could happen was Yumi would kick him out, and even if that was enough to get him into yet another fit, it still would only be another bad thing to be caused by finding boys cute. 

“I’m gay,” Odd choked out. It felt like he was dying when Yumi went still and silent. He was just about to forcefully pull away when Yumi spoke. 

“Odd, there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing. You saying that to me changes absolutely nothing about who you are as a person. Is that why you dated all those girls?” Yumi asked. Odd let out an unsteady breath and nodded. 

“I thought if I couldn’t make it work with at least one of them, then I would at least get people off my trail,” Odd said. Yumi sighed and held him even closer. 

“And you were afraid of how we would react?” Yumi asked. Odd nodded but didn’t speak. She seemed to deliberate on what to say next, and Odd was dreading the most logical next course for the conversation to take.

“Have people been bullying you? Is that what happened today?” Yumi asked, and all Odd could think about was how Richard Weaver looked each and every student in the eyes and told them that not only was Odd a cheater, but he spouted that bullshit rumor that Odd couldn’t refute with a good enough lie. Richard Weaver outed him before Odd had even managed to really, fully come to terms with it. What was he supposed to say, anyway? If he didn’t refute it when it was said, no one would believe him if he did it later.

“I think that’s a bit nice, actually,” Odd said. “I don’t know what to call what they’ve been doing, but bullying just doesn’t feel like the right word. They decided to tell the entire art wing that I’m a cheating womanizer who only uses girls to appear straight.”

Yumi clenched her fists and took a deep breath. “Odd, don’t let nasty words from nasty people do this to you,” Yumi said. Odd stayed silent. Not only was the accusation embarrassing, but the output of dirt on his dating life disgusted even himself. He had never thought about how many girls he had used to save face throughout the years. Even if the number had dramatically dropped once he grew out of the ignorant, Reddit consuming preteen faze, it still made his stomach churn. 

“They’re right,” Odd said, and while this came from analyzing himself more than what was actually said, he stood by it. He could fully understand the hate when he looked at himself from the outside. 

“You are not the first and sure as Hell not the last to serial date to appear straight. As far as I know, none of your relationships have ever been serious,” Yumi said. 

“No, but a handful of them really liked me. I can’t even remember how many times I made out with someone just to satisfy the requirement of doing so, and then they’d try to go father and I...I’d lie and say something happened and I needed to go. The first few girls kept trying again, right up until I just ignored their texts. Then, there was this point that I could see on their faces that they knew I’d say that. Like I had a reputation, and it wasn’t the one I was spouting off.” 

“It’s been a long time since you dated someone. I assume at some point between now and then, you acknowledged that what you were doing wasn’t right?” Yumi asked.

“Yeah,” Odd felt like he was being scolded, even if Yumi’s tone was nothing but gentle.

“I’m not upset with you. Look, at the end of the day, at least you weren’t breaking off really long, dedicated relationships,” Yumi said. 

“Don’t defend me.”

“I’m not. You know it was shitty, so why would I beat a dead horse? You know it was wrong, you changed the behavior, now it’s time to work upwards.”

“I wasn’t ready for this,” Odd relaxed into Yumi, feeling more and more exhausted. Yumi pushed herself back and laid down, then opened her arms up for Odd. He crawled into them instantly.

“I won’t tell the others. I don’t know if someone else will, but it won’t be me,” Yumi put her pinky finger up, and Odd intertwined his with hers. “So, do you have any crushes? She asked this tentatively. As if she wasn’t sure if Odd would appreciate the attempt at humor. 

“A couple, but none that are marriage worthy. Believe it or not, I do prefer dating for the long term,” Odd said, wiping his face. Yumi hummed with a sad chuckle. 

“Iron Man, Spider-Man, Thor, or Black Panther?” Yumi asked, and for half a second Odd thought Yumi was asking him what movie he wanted to watch. Then, and only after catching the sly smile on Yumi’s face, he realized she was asking who he found the most attractive.

Odd felt a sudden surge of fear and anxiety, but he shoved it down. Yumi had been the one to ask, and after how supportive she’d been, there was no way this would be the thing that broke them apart. “Loki.”

“Typical,” Yumi sighed, pulling Thor up on Netflix. Odd smiled and jumped up to turn the light off before collapsing back down into Yumi’s arms. “Bad boys aren’t all the storybooks make them out to be.”

“Okay, I’m pretty sure you’ve had a crush on William for three years,” Odd said. 

“Looks aren’t everything! Just because he’s hot doesn’t mean I’d date him,” Yumi said, and while Odd couldn’t deny that William was objectively attractive, he also couldn’t deny that he was objectively stupid and had no impulse control.

“Aren’t you always hanging out? What a rude best friend,” Odd jested, and Yumi snorted into her shirt sleeve. 

“Aelita is my best friend,” Yumi responded, and Odd sucked in a dramatized breath.

“Aelita is _my_ best friend.”

“Ulrich is your best friend, hands-off. You can’t have everything,” Yumi said, and suddenly all of Odd’s slowly building calm vanished. Yumi sat them both up and looked into his eyes worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Odd sounded choked up again. This was such bullshit. Odd had never cried while attending Kadic, and that record just had to be broken by a boy that would be gone in seven months. 

“I really don’t want to be pushy, but I have never seen you like this, and it’s really, really hard,” Yumi was so quiet that it was hard to hear. Odd understood anyway. 

“I don’t want to lose Ulrich,” Odd’s breath hitched between each word, and by the end, he was crying again. 

Yumi pulled him close, and sounding distressed for the first time the entire night, said, “Why would you lose Ulrich?”

“He hates people like me. He can’t even talk about them. Someone’s going to tell him, and he’ll never talk to me again. Yumi, he’s my best friend; they can’t tell him,” Odd fisted his hair in his hands, making Yumi’s grip on him awkward yet still unyielding. 

“Odd, calm down. Ulrich would _never_ abandon you,” Yumi seemed to be pleading with a rational part of Odd’s brain that had long ago shut off. 

“His parents--” 

“Are not him. I know that Ulrich and I have always been awkward around each other, but we are really good friends. I know how he thinks. You know how he thinks.” 

“I know everything about him. I know _everything,_ Yumi. You don’t think we’ve talked about politics? He’s never been against it, but every time anyone brings it up, he gets all weird, and he won’t talk. He _leaves,_ ” Odd said, thinking back to the time Aelita had so innocently asked about gay marriage. 

“He doesn’t know what to make of the idea, but he knows you. He may have grown up hearing that it was wrong, but you are not your sexuality, Odd. He’ll see you. He’s _always_ seen you, even when we didn’t.”

“But it’s such a big part of me. Am I supposed to never introduce my boyfriend to my best friend? Am I supposed to lie about who I hang out with or who I like? Ulrich is the first person I want to tell everything, and I’m just supposed to sit down and shut up about the one thing that I’ve hated about myself my entire life, but I was _finally coming to terms with?_ ” Odd didn’t realize he had been shouting until he saw the wide-eyed, open mouth gaze Yumi had on him. He let out a breath and unclenched his fists.

“That’s not what...No,” Yumi said. “It’s not very accepted in Japanese culture, either. I didn’t know anything about it until I was older. I probably still wouldn’t know anything if Aelita and I hadn’t learned together. My mom just never brought it up. I know I’m ignorant, and I honestly have no idea what to say. All I can tell you for sure is that I support you one-thousand percent.”

Odd stared at Yumi for a long, tiring moment. “Thank you,” He said, trying his hardest to put the gratitude he felt behind it.

“Give him time, Odd. Tell him, but expect him to be weird about it. Just don’t give up before he realizes who he is walking away from.” 

“I don’t want to,” Odd’s face crumbled. His eyes were beginning to hurt. 

“Then don’t. You need to do what you feel you need to do. This is your life,” Yumi said, and Odd nodded and didn’t voice any of his raging thoughts out loud. 

“Ulrich is part of that. I don’t want someone else telling him first,” Odd whispered. 

“Do you…?” Yumi trailed off. 

“No,” Odd responded. “I don’t...no. I don’t.”

Yumi smiled sadly at him and pulled down onto the bed again. They stayed in a companionable silence only broken by the sounds of the movie as it played in the background. At some point, Odd’s phone pinged from his back pocket, but he felt no urge to pull it out and answer it. Then, a little while later, Yumi’s phone did the same. 

“He’s worried,” Yumi whispered. 

“Why am I more scared of this than I ever was of Xana?” Odd said just as quietly back. 

“Scarier than almost drowning?” 

“It feels the same in a way. But there’s no way out this time,” Odd said. Yumi wiped away a tear from her own face and tossed her phone onto the floor beside her bed. 

“Let’s just finish this,” Yumi said, and Odd nodded. He had also run out of things to say.


End file.
